ARTICLES

How to Be a Sidewalk Counselor

Local Pro-Life Prayer Warrior Gives a Class at Saint Brigid's

BY ANNE KNIGHT

"It's not until God breaks your heart that God can use you." This was the theme of Dr. Heather Mechanic's October 27 presentation titled "How to Become a Pro-Life Prayer Warrior." Twenty-five people attended this three-hour event, held at Saint Brigid's Church in Pacific Beach. Mechanic has worked as a nurse for 43 years. She's been a clinical nurse specialist since the 1970s. Her doctorate, in community mental health nursing education, is from Columbia University. She has been in practice as a certified nurse specialist in adult psychiatry and mental health since 1990, and she's practiced as a licensed marriage and family therapist since 1994. She began her involvement in prayer and sidewalk counseling at abortion mills in 1991 and has been leading post-abortion healing workshops since 1996.

After showing a video on fetal devel opment, and giving a graphic explanation of different abortion methods, Mechanic told her own heartbreaking tale of having an abortion in 1970. She was divorced at the time. "And I didn't want my mom's criticism and judgment," she confessed. "She was very critical and we moms can be that way."

For a couple of days after the abortion, she felt as if she had turned her life upside down, but then "I promptly pushed it away; we call that suppres sion. But from time to time it would bother me. I knew that it was a child; I had been taught in secular nursing school, in 1962, that life began at conception. That's long before ultrasound or anything else. Nobody questioned it; it didn't matter what your faith was; everybody knew it was a child."

Mechanic's abortion left her sterile and ended her menstrual cycles. For five years after her abortion, Mechanic sporadically recalled the abortion, and "I would feel very suicidal and very depressed and then quickly push it away, and not allow myself to think about it.... My depression kept getting worse and worse, with tremendous guilt and nightmares."

In 1985, when Mechanic heard a Christian radio program in which a former abortionist described how babies are dismembered in second-trimester abortions, she said she started screaming and sobbing, "Oh my God, I killed my baby. That's when God broke my heart."

Mechanic was found unconscious from an overdose on the following day. "After that," she recalled, "the depression was much worse and the suicidal thinking was almost constant." In 1990, she attended a training session for people interested in being sidewalk counselors and "prayer warriors" at the abortion mills. "There were seven women there who had all had abortions, and we all began to talk about our depression, our guilt, our suicidal thinking, and eating disorders, and nightmares." Mechanic subsequently attended a post-abortion healing retreat where she believes that God healed her, "and I was finally able to let go of it."

When discussing outreach at the clinics, she acknowledged that "not everybody is called to do sidewalk counseling, and it's not an easy thing. It's much easier to counsel at a crisis pregnancy center. But 90% of the women who are really abortion-minded never go to a crisis pregnancy center; they go straight to the abortion doctor. Being a prayer warrior is, I think, the most important thing -- reading God's word, praying, praising Jesus, praying that the Holy Spirit would take away all the demons that are there. My Catholic friends here say rosaries and lead others in the rosary. What's most in need is prayer, because you're at the gates of hell. Every person that is at the abortion mill, praying makes a difference as far as people changing their mind."

She added that it is only necessary for one or two people to sidewalk counsel, but everybody can be a prayer warrior. And what should those two counselors expect to see?

"[Abortion clients are] usually young couples," Mechanic answered. "They're usually looking away; they can be very sarcastic to you or they can be smiling away. They might call you names or curse at you. But that's all [just] defensiveness. Most women are trying very hard to be numb and not to feel when they're going into the abortion mills. [They] often have a wall around them and are in the fear or denial stage. Their heart is hardened. One that really bothers me is the grandmothers, because they know better. But the young girls that are going in are really just of one mindset: 'This is what I have to do.' And oftentimes they'll laugh or joke or poke fun at you or whatever, because that's their way of covering up. They don't want to know what the truth is. No matter how abortion-minded women present themselves at the mills, they are in a lot of pain. You've got about 30 seconds to talk to them after they park their cars, and they rarely stop. If they do, we give them literature, we show the [fetal] model, and then you can find out about what's going on in their lives and why they're [thinking about abortion.]" Mechanic continued, "The way to reach them is to develop a relationship with them, really listen with your heart [and] your ears to their story. Help them explore other options." She believes the most effective approach is to be encouraging and supportive and loving rather than shaming, citing Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turns away wrath." If possible, the sidewalk counselor should invite the client to walk away with them from the clinic while discussing their situation, and should inform them about assistance available at crisis pregnancy centers.

"Most of them just go straight inside and we call out; we try to use Scripture, give them a gospel message and try to convince them to have compassion for their themselves and their baby." Veteran sidewalk counselors usually advise focusing on the mother herself, rather than the baby. "It's probably true that what influences them the most is thinking about themselves; they're not thinking about their baby, but I can't help talking about the baby as well," Mechanic acknowledged.

Mechanic approaches abortion clients by calling out statements and exhortations such as the following: "If you're here for an abortion, please come and talk to us; we have lots of resources available for you; we can help you." "We're here because we care about you." "This is a poor choice; it hurts you; it wounds you." "Have mercy and compassion on yourself and your baby." "Jesus loves you and we love you; we care about what happens to you." As the situation gets more desperate, she uses stronger words. "Don't do this; don't wound yourself this way." "This is a day that will haunt you for the rest of your life; you will suffer depression, suicidal thinking, eating disorders, nightmares." "You could have hemorrhaging, infection, blood clots, laceration of the cervix, perforated bowel, perforated uterus, perforated bladder." "Your baby will be torn out piece by piece." "You will always wonder what your child would have been like, a child who, in your old age, would have comforted you and supported you, that you're robbing yourself of." "God says in His word, 'Thou shall not murder.'" "God says, 'I set before you life and death ... choose life that you might have life and have it more abundantly.'"

"You can really quote Scripture, because God says that His word is a double-edged sword that pierces to the bone and marrow," Mechanic advised. "Give the Gospel: 'No matter what the reasons, why you got pregnant, why you're here, come, repent, don't do this, don't go into that house of torture and violence; this is the ultimate child abuse."

When patients leave the clinic, those who have had abortions are walking slowly and will have bandages on their arms. As they leave, Mechanic appeals to them to ask Jesus for forgiveness for what they've done.

Mechanic views the large graphic images of aborted babies displayed by some pro-lifers as powerful tools for overcoming a widespread state of ignorance and denial regarding the true nature of abortion. A frequent complaint regarding the graphic images is that they are inappropriate for young children to see. Mechanic counters this argument by asserting that, once children are calmly taught that such pictures are being used to save other children, they are quick to grasp and accept this concept. Moreover, she added, the parent's reaction usually determines their child's reaction and recounted situations in which young children themselves have helped to display such images in pro-life activities.

She provided thick information packets containing most of the information given in her talk, a 28-page guide for sidewalk counselors, much additional information and lists of resources. She highly recommended Randy Alcorn's book, Pro-Life Answers to Pro-Choice Arguments.

In a subsequent interview, she elaborated on her conviction that prayer and counseling at abortion mills is obligatory for those who are able to do it, rather than just another of many Christian ministry options. "I see this as a priority. I don't do it because I have such a love for getting up Saturday morning and going down there. I go because it's a duty. As Christians we have to love our neighbors as ourselves. We have to be the Good Samaritan. And who is the most needy in our society? It is those dying; it is those being led to slaughter the most innocent. And the pre-born are the most innocent of our society. I'm not telling you not to do other good things, [but] we all have a duty to defend the most innocent. I can't say, 'Well, I do [another ministry], so I don't have to do anything else.' We have to stand up for those who are oppressed and are the least of all anywhere. You must be willing to go into that garden of Gethsemane and weep with Jesus for what is destroying our churches, our nation, our families, our society, more than anything else."

Mechanic acknowledged the difficulties in persuading churchgoers to become active at abortion clinics. She believes there is widespread fear of being arrested, and emphasized that what she advocates carries no risk of arrest. "Also, [Christians in general] don't see it as something of value," she said. "Since they can't talk to the moms most of the time; they feel powerless."

Another obstacle, she said, is that "It's not a 'feel good' ministry; it's never easy and there is no reward, except for the tremendous spiritual growth that comes from it."

Mechanic has given ten presentations on being a pro-life prayer warrior since 2002, and believes it is especially important to speak on this topic at churches. She prays and sidewalk counsels at Family Planning Associates, across from Balboa Park, on Wednesday and Saturday mornings. Her contact with the group of Catholics who come to FPA on Saturdays resulted in her invitation to speak at St. Brigid's.

In a November 9 e-mail, Sue Lopez, a Catholic who prays and sidewalk counsels weekly at Family Planning Associates on Saturdays, along with Mechanic, reported that "for the last three Saturdays, we've had at least one life saved and on one of those Saturdays, three women left. This is after two years of rarely seeing anyone leave, but now we have at least eight to 10 people there praying each week." On Saturday morning, November 19, when Mechanic and about 10 Catholics were there, another baby was saved.

Dr. Heather Mechanic's presentation at Saint Brigid's was videotaped and is being reproduced on DVD. The DVD can be presented to pastors or other church officials as part of a request for permission to have her speak at a church. For more information or to schedule a presentation by Dr. Mechanic for your church or organization, call 858-613-1403 or e-mail: daystarcounseling@msn.com.

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