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Pastoral Dilemna

Funeral Mass Held for Lesbian Lover of Former USD Pride President

BY STANFORD ESPEDAL

A church funeral was recently held for the partner of a high-profile homosexual activist, and attended by gays and lesbians from the University of San Diego PRIDE group. This event left concerned local Catholics asking why a Catholic parish in the San Diego diocese would celebrate a funeral for a woman who, from all known information, was an unrepentant lesbian.

Donna Aracely Godinez, 25, died in a bizarre traffic accident on Friday, January 20. The report in the San Diego Union-Tribune stated, "A car plunged 70 feet off Interstate 805 yesterday morning, ejecting the driver in air and crushing her passenger as it landed upside down on Plaza Boulevard." Witnesses said the car, a red 1972 Volkswagen Beetle, "flew off the freeway in pieces." "The vehicle was northbound on I-805, south of the Plaza Boulevard crossing, when the accident occurred about 11:30 a.m. The car drifted across the right shoulder and hit several guardrail posts before becoming airborne. It came to rest in the eastbound lanes of Plaza Boulevard. The impact on the pavement was so great the vehicle was smashed to three feet tall."

A funeral was arranged for Donna at Our Lady of Angels in Logan Heights, where her mother is an active parishioner. The parish pastor, Father Armando Escurel, delegated the funeral liturgy to his associate, Father Earl Eggleston.

On Tuesday, January 24, Dr. Evelyn Kirkley, lesbian professor of religious studies at the University of San Diego emailed the members of PRIDE, USD's homosexual student group: "PRIDE-rs: It is with deep sorrow I notify you that Donna Aracely Godinez, partner of USD graduate & former PRIDE president Melissa Espinal, died last Friday morning. The funeral service will be Thursday, January 26 at 10 AM at Our Lady of Angels Church, 656 24th Street. Flowers & a card from PRIDE have been sent. Please keep Melissa & Donna's families in your thoughts & prayers during this time of mourning. If you would like to contact Melissa, please notify me. Evelyn/Dr K."

Anne Miriam (not her real name), a local Catholic who received the email immediately contacted the parish office and tried to inform Father Escurel concerning Donna Godinez' situation. "I just called the parish," Miriam explained, "and asked why they are holding a funeral for an open lesbian. The woman who answered the phone chewed me out, saying that I shouldn't be causing trouble for people after they are dead, and how did I know that Godinez did not repent of her lesbianism before she died? She said she would not listen to me and hung up on me, even though I asked to speak with the pastor."

On Wednesday, January 25, I sent an e-mail to Chancellor Rodrigo Valdivia with a copy to Father Eggleston. "I am writing to inquire whether a known practicing lesbian would be 'specifically excluded by the norms of law' from a Catholic funeral."

Later the same day I received this reply from Chancellor Valdivia. "In the scheduling and celebration of funerals local pastors are to apply the norms of Church law to particular cases as regards both the deceased and their families and friends."

I also left phone messages for Father Earl at both the parish office and the Saint Francis Center, where he was expected to be that afternoon. He did not return my calls or acknowledge my e-mail.

On the morning of the funeral, Thursday, January 26, I arrived at the church at 9:30, thinking the funeral was at 10:00. As it turned out, Kirkley's message had been incorrect; the funeral was scheduled for 11:00. I wasn't the only one who got it wrong; a short-haired woman in baggy blue jeans, black silk shirt and men's black shoes was waiting outside too. Wanting to reach Father Earl and make sure he knew the situation, I went into the parish office at 10:00 and asked to see him. I gave my name to the receptionist, who went in to see Father. She returned a moment later saying he was busy preparing for the Mass.

A memorial folder was available to all next to the guest-book in the vestibule. It contained the prayer of Saint Francis, two love poems from Melissa to Donna, and a background picture of Melissa giving Donna a kiss on the cheek.

The attendees at the funeral were predominantly Hispanic; friends of the Godinez family. All of the songs and many of the prayers were in Spanish. In his homily, which alternated between Spanish and English, Father Earl did not directly affirm or deny Donna's salvation. Neither Heaven nor Hell nor Purgatory was mentioned. In the first part Father reflected on the mercy of God which is "new every morning" as Jeremiah says in the Lamentations. This mercy gives us all the hope of salvation. The second part featured a parable of a water beetle which crawled onto a fisherman's boat, and eventually cracked through its shell and began a new life in flight. The water beetles still in the lake could not imagine the glory of their former companion. The application was that we who are still on earth can't imagine the glory enjoyed by those who have entered eternal life. The implication was that Donna was now in that glory. In the third part Father reflected on Christ's words to Martha, "I am the resurrection and the life." Though he stopped short of saying that Donna was in Heaven.

Ten days after the funeral, still having received no return call from Father Eggleston, I sent him an e-mail asking these questions: "The diocesan policy, states, 'Every Catholic, unless specifically excluded by the norms of law, is entitled to the Church's ministry at the time of death.' Hence I want to know whether a known practicing lesbian would be "specifically excluded by the norms of law" from a Catholic funeral? And, if gay bar owner John McCusker was specifically excluded by the norms of law from a Catholic funeral, yet a non-Eucharistic prayer service was offered for the bereaved family, why was not this precedent, which combined both strictness and mercy, followed in the Godinez case?

Father Eggleston replied to me via e-mail on Tuesday, February 7, "Neither the pastor, Father Armando Escurel, nor I, to whom the funeral liturgy was delegated, knew Donna Godinez to be a homosexual Catholic with a same sex partner. Donna's mother is an active member of Our Lady of Angels Parish."

Hence, another question emerges, what should a priest do with regard to an inactive Catholic for whom a family member requests a funeral? Is it not a matter of pastoral diligence to determine whether the deceased might be "specifically excluded by the norms of law" from a Catholic funeral?" The current (1983) Code of Canon Law states, "Unless they gave some signs of repentance before death," manifest sinners "cannot be granted ecclesiastical funerals without public scandal of the faithful."

I sent an email to Father Richard Perozich, former pastor of Our Lady of the Sacred Heart in City Heights. I asked him, "What steps ought a priest reasonably take to find out about the life of an inactive Catholic for whom the parents request a funeral?"His response: "I would just celebrate the funeral for the deceased. If the parents didn't inform me, I would not ask much about the deceased."

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