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He Loved Like No One Else

Friends and Family Remember Bob Murphy

BY JANET HOWARD

Bob Murphy, who many called San Diego's pro-life troubadour, died June 1, 2006 of a massive heart attack . He was 51 years old. Over 1,100 people attended his Rosary at Holy Trinity parish in El Cajon on June 6th, and 1,200 attended the Funeral Mass the next day. His pastor, Father Brian Corcoran told the congregation that "he was a great man, a gifted man." Memorials continued on Saturday June 10th with another Mass at Saint Pius X in Jamul, and at the Benedictus Men's meeting in North County.

Over the years, Murphy was the director of religious education at Saint Pius X, a youth minister, a music teacher, and a dedicated pro-life activist. He lent his talents to music ministry over the years, most recently at the Sunday 5:30 p.m. Mass at Holy Trinity parish. He played at the 3rd Monday Healing Mass for Spirit Ministries at Holy Spirit parish, at Cursillo weekends, and Whispering Winds retreats. He volunteered at the annual Steubenville teen retreat at San Diego State, and worked in prison ministry with Deacon Ken Finn.

At the reception following Murphy's funeral, some of Bob's family and friends offered their memories of his remarkable life. Mimi Davey, Murphy's older sister said that all 11 of the Murphy kids were born in San Diego at Mercy Hospital. The three oldest, Mimi, Ed, and Bob, graduated from El Cajon Valley High School, then the family moved to Clairemont. Murphy attended the College of the Siskiyous in the town of Weed in far northern California. Mimi noted, "When Dad died in 1978, the family had trouble with the mortgage and there was concern about keeping the house. So Bob quit school, moved back to San Diego, and went to work to help with the mortgage so our younger siblings could stay and graduate from Clairemont High School."

Murphy's mother Marie said that her son was a caregiver who "stepped up to the plate after his Dad had his stroke. Bob's older brother Ed had gone into the military, and Bob was the oldest boy in the house."

Mimi continued, "Bob went back to school eventually and finished his degree in music at Christian Heritage College in El Cajon. As Father Brian Corcoran mentioned at the Rosary, things were quite lively at the College with Bob around. There was no way he was going to compromise his love for the Blessed Mother. For the last three years, Bob spent two hours a day in Eucharistic Adoration, and he'd been a daily Communicant for years."

Father Vincent Gajere, a Nigerian priest stationed at Saint Pius X, was Murphy's friend and confessor. "I've known Bob Murphy since 2003," Father Gajere says." What a remarkable person he was in so many ways. Bob had a simple approach to life, and he was aware of his human weakness before God. He deeply accepted and loved the Church's teachings."

Father Gajere related an anecdote about Murphy. "Once I asked Bob quite a personal question: Why wouldn't he get an annulment to his failed marriage? And I put this to him for two reasons. One, I saw the virtue of love deeply in him, and I felt he should be able to share it with a partner in marriage. Two, annulments are possible these days. Bob said to me, 'Father, I believe in the indissolubility of Catholic marriage -- for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, and in sickness or in health.' Wow! This kind of smacked me in the face, but truly I was happy and touched with his response."

Deacon Ken Finn, whom Murphy called his "spiritual father,"said, "I want to say up front that I think he's going to deserve serious consideration for the process of sainthood. In the over twenty years that I've known the man, I've never heard anyone say that they did not like him. I never in my life saw anyone so open to the power of the Lord's word. Thirteen years ago, we started Benedictus, a ministry to Catholic men to raise Catholic spiritual leaders in our community. Bob became part of our ministry. Bob said something way back then, that is as true today as it has ever been, 'I don't entertain people, I minister God's word to them through music."

Deacon Finn continued, "The last Mass that Mother Teresa had here in San Diego, in June of 1996, we had wonderful music, and a giant crowd. One of Mother Teresa's favorite songs was 'Ave Maria,' and I asked Bob, 'How'd you like to sing 'Ave Maria' solo to Mother Teresa?' And typical of Bob Murphy style, he said 'If the Lord wants me to do it, I can do it.' When Bob got up to play, Mother raised her head and she had a soft smile."

Murphy's friend, Brian Caster, recalled the same event. "Over the years," he said, "I've been fortunate to spend time with Mother Teresa. Many times there would be priests and other speakers giving talks, and she never looked up. Yet when that song began, Mother Teresa did look up. I believe she knew that there was a saint in her view. He was a very intelligent guy, he could have been very successful [in the world], but he chose a lay ministry to serve others. I can relay, knowing both people like I did, that Bob was another Mother Teresa, but on a local level. How he ever had the time, I have no idea."

"We were at state prison," Deacon Finn recalled, "and Bob did a little concert, and the usual catcalls started out, and within a few minutes Bob had that whole place just in silence. They were completely taken up with his love of the Lord. It was like the music cured the savage beast. And then one time, we went to this one particular prison, Calipatria, a pretty high level place. One of the guys came up to Bob, and says 'I used to be a guitar player, and I got mixed up. I've got a long way to go before I get home, but because of you today, I think I might go back to it.'"

Murphy was known for bringing his musical and spiritual talents pro-life to pro-life work. From 1988-1989, Olga and Mike Miller participated in Operation Rescue with him. The night before rescues, they would gather for praise and worship in order to prepare spiritually for what they considered to be a primarily spiritual battle. Olga explained that, "Bob lead the music at the praise and worship night. And then we would have Mass early the morning of the rescue. "When he was arrested, of course, the men and women were separated. He was in the cell with Mike, my husband, and they prayed and sang while they were in the cells."

Deacon Finn also commented that "when Bob was arrested, he got the others together and started singing and praising the Lord, just like Cyrus in prison. Instead of getting angry, they sang and praised the Lord for five or six hours."

Murphy's sister Colette Hazlet remembered, "We would go and intend to be prayer support, but then we would hear Bob's songs, "Rescue," or "Mommy" and we had to do more. I wound up being arrested along with Bob one day. His music inspired me to step forward."

Greg Witz, husband to Laura Witz, a member of the Bob Murphy Band, commented, "When I first met Bob Murphy, it was kind of my spiritual awakening. I met Bob at Saint Joseph's Cathedral. After Mass every day, we would walk from the Cathedral back to our offices, about a fifteen-minute walk. That's when Bob taught me how to bring Christ into everyday life. I wish I had those days back, they were blessed."

Jim House, Murphy's roommate the past seven years, said, "I can tell you one of the great things about living with Bob, was how much prayer we did here in the house. We prayed over each other frequently. Prayer most characterized our relationship.... Bob was definitely a super prayer warrior, so sainthood is not out of the realm of possibility. Everything he did reflected Christ."

Jim Murphy, Bob's brother, said he had been "a beacon of light that we all followed. He's going to be sorely missed. Our family leaned on Bob as a spiritual leader. We're going to carry on in the direction he pointed."

Another brother Ed said, "He was my little brother that I looked up to. Murphy's brother Joe added, "My brother Bob loved like no one else."

Matt Belcher, a long-time friend who played in Murphy's band and is soon to marry Bob's niece Katie Davey, said, "Bob was God's reflection to me. It's how everyone's talking about him. I've always had the highest respect for him. He was just a man of the highest order."

"My Dad," said Murphy's friend Jim Sawaya, "serves Mass every day at Saint Joseph's Cathedral. He has gotten to know Bob over the years, as Bob was a frequent visitor to the noon Mass at St Joe's. Wednesday May 31st, the day before Bob died, he showed up at noon Mass and my Dad gave him Communion. My Dad saw Bob leaving after Mass with a local homeless person on his way to buy the guy lunch. He said the homeless guy had this huge smile on his face as Bob escorted him to the deli. Mass, Communion, helping the homeless -- I can only hope my last day on earth is similar to Bob's."

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