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2001 FOLLOW ME
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Contents © 2001
by Jim Holman.
All rights reserved.

CALLED TO GO ELSEWHERE

For many seminarians, the door to the priesthood shuts when they are told that they don't have a vocation. In the case of Father Tom Shaw, the doors closed only so that a window might open.

Born in Brooklyn, New York in 1949, Shaw came to San Diego at the age of 12. "I went to Kearny High School and San Diego State. I didn't really get into sports, except collecting baseball cards. I've always loved books and have been into reading."

The love of books led Shaw to major in English and history at San Diego St ate in the 1970s. After graduating, he got a teacher's credential, but didn't use it, preferring to work at Hunter's books in La Jolla and Ex Libris in Solana Beach. Although he had gained the qualifications to teach, he had lost his faith. "The late 60s was a time when the whole world was going crazy and I had a lot of questions. I've always been curious and I had to satisfy my curiosity. And to be honest, I didn't like most of the priests I knew then. I chafed under authority."

It was a graduate class in medieval literature that led him back. "We had ten selections from a 1000-year period and one of them was from St. Augustine's Confessions -- the part where he is converted by St. Ambrose. As I read it, I thought, 'I know this man.' Then I was given another book, The Road to Damascus, an anthology of conversion stories. After reading further, I knew I had to investigate more, so I started reading encyclicals. Soon, I wanted to go to confession, so since St. Augustine had led me back, I went to St. Patrick's, an Augustinian parish, to confess. I told the priest that I had been away from home for a long time. When we were done, he said, 'Welcome home.'

"Monsignor Dickie was the pastor of my parish, St. Columba, and I went to him for advice and he became a spiritual director for me. I also went on an Ignatian retreat in Azusa at a now defunct retreat center. A priest I connected with there--the one who ran the library -- talked with me quite a bit and helped me with praying. After they closed, I went for another retreat at a Carmelite center in Redlands. There I met a man studying for the Carmelite priesthood and he later invited me to his ordination. At a reception afterward, he introduced me to his sister by saying, 'He's going to be a priest later on.' When I asked him why he told her that, he said that he knew I would be a priest when he first met me."

Shaw had been active in his parish since his return to Catholicism, and had been struggling with the idea of priesthood for a couple of years. Since Monsignor Dickie had moved from his parish to become the rector of St. Francis Seminary, Shaw felt compelled to contact him. "After a long discussion, I told him I was going to apply. I entered the seminary in 1994."

All was going well, until Shaw's second year in the seminary. Father Steve Callahan took over as rector and staffed the seminary with younger priests. "One night Father Callahan stopped by my quarters, and me being a bookish type, it was a little cluttered. He took that as a bad sign and recommended me for therapy. They sent me to see Dr. Peter McDade, a psychologist who found nothing wrong with me. Dr. McDade thought I would go right on to theology, but when it was time for my evaluation, I had a feeling that they could be wrong. During the course of the meeting, everything went fine until the recommendation part -- then the tone changed. Callahan said, 'I can't recommend you to go on to the theologate, because you don't have the charism of a diocesan priest.' I asked him to elaborate and he told me that I'd be more effective in a religious community or smaller diocese. He said I was good at one on one, but wasn't capable of living outside of a community, I didn't have the leadership skills to lead a parish, and the third thing -- his exact words, 'There's something about you that makes it difficult for some people to speak to you.' I told him that I disagreed. I said, 'If you had spoken to people I'd worked with, you'd know that I can do the things you say I can't do. If you had spoken with my pastor, he would tell you that I've worked on the parish council and the RCIA program, functioning in the parish at large.' Then I asked him, 'Would it have made a difference if you had spoken to any of these people?' and he replied that he had not spoken to any of them and it wouldn't have made a difference."

Shaw appealed to Bishop Brom, who, although cordial, would not reverse Callahan's decision. "He said, 'I know about the decision, but I don't know the reasons for it.' I handed him the paper with Callahan's reasons and he looked at it and said, 'Well, that looks pretty much like what Father Steve told me.'" As Shaw confronted Brom on each point, Brom's answer was the same: "He'd say, 'You'll have to ask Father Steve what he meant by that.' Brom explained the demands on diocesan priests and complained that priests were in danger of becoming mere functionaries. He then said, 'I don't know a lot about you, but I know you have a strong contemplative side and you like to read and take the time to think about what you've read. Because of the demands that are made on priests in San Diego, you wouldn't have time to do the things you like to do, therefore it's not a good fit.' The only things he told me that I liked to do is have some contemplative time to read and think about what I've read. So whenever I tell this story, I tell people that the bishop said I wouldn't have time to pray, read or think!"

After being promised a good recommendation to any other diocese he might apply to, Shaw applied to several California dioceses, only to be refused by each of them. He began to fear he had been blacklisted. "My gut feeling is that I was a threat. One high ranking lay worker in the diocese told me, 'You're exactly what the bishop doesn't like. You're an articulate, orthodox Catholic with a mind of his own.' I won't say who that person was, but it was someone who is very charitable and does not like to criticize."

Although discouraged, Shaw refused to quit. "My decision was based on my belief that God does not deal in untruths, and everything I was told about myself in that meeting was not true." Several priest friends, including Monsignor Dickie and Father Michael Manning of Riverside, could not believe that Shaw was turned away. Another priest friend, Father Ray Ryland, mentioned Shaw's dilemma to the vocations director for the diocese of Peoria, Illinois, whom he had met at a conference in Syracuse. She simply told Ryland to "send him to us." Meanwhile, another friend, Dr. Gerald Sperazzo of USD, advised Shaw that the Lord seemed to be calling him to go elsewhere. He asked Shaw if he knew Bishop Myers of Peoria, and recommended he contact the Peoria diocese. "A couple of days later, Father Ryland told me the story of how he met the vocations director for Peoria. I thought, 'O.K., here's Peoria suddenly appearing out of nowhere!' So I called the diocese and got right through to the vocations director, Dr. David Kipfer -- which I later learned was a miracle in itself. He sent me some information and I came shortly afterward for a visit, where I stayed at a parish near the chancery. I later learned that the pastor of that parish was listening in on that conversation between Father Ryland and the vocations director! And he said the same thing, 'Send him to us!'

Peoria turned out to be a great fit. After a positive meeting with Bishop Myers, Shaw was admitted to Kenrick Seminary in St. Louis, where he graduated in early May as valedictorian of his theology class. "At 51, I was the oldest seminarian. Anyone who knew me 30 years ago would never have thought I would make valedictorian in theology!" Father Shaw was ordained on May 26th.

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