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Contents © 2000
by Jim Holman.
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I QUIT THE PARTIES

By Robert Kumpel

Born Steven Pham, in 1959, the sixth child of eleven, Brother Michel, a Benedictine monk at Oceanside's Prince of Peace abbey, was the first male born to his family in Vietnam."When I was born, my mother immediately consecrated me to God and St. Joseph. I was sick for about three years from malnutrition. My parents prayed that if I would live, I would belong to God, and they wouldn't want me to get married." During the war Pham's family began to eat better when his dad joined the army. They were able to send him to a seminary school.

"My sister was an English translator for the U.S. army. She married an American soldier in 1969 and came to America. In 1975, she sent her husband back to find us. We had to go from our village to Saigon, and the only way to make it was by boat. The children went first and then I had to go back to get my parents. I had to walk 10 miles from the dock to my parents' village. On both sides of me were tanks and fire.

"When we landed in Guam, we heard that Saigon had fallen." After two weeks in Guam, Pham and his family went to Hawaii, and eventually, Joplin, Missouri. In Hawaii, Pham was an altar boy in his parish but admits,"By the time I was ready to graduate from high school, I began to hang out with the wrong crowd. In 1979, I graduated, and my parents knew a priest in Missouri who operated a Catholic school. He offered to let my younger brother go to his school, and my parents couldn't refuse. They wanted him to have a better moral standard. They saw my example and didn't want him to grow up like me! I moved to Missouri with them and tried to go to college -- I registered, but I never did go. I made enough money to buy a car and come out to California. One of my sisters was married to a navy man stationed in San Diego, so I drove there.

"There were refugee training programs, and I was trained in electronics and got a job. Bumble Bee Tuna later recruited me and trained me. When they moved their plant to Mexico, I moved to Los Angeles. All I did was draw unemployment and party. I did a few odd jobs -- I didn't care. Meanwhile, my parents had moved to San Diego. I came back and went to Platt College to learn drafting. After six months in San Diego, I got bored and went back to Los Angeles. First I worked as a waiter, then I worked for a law firm as a courier. I would drive from downtown L.A. to Century City three times a day. I wasn't getting enough sleep, and I got into a couple of car accidents.

"I rarely thought about God. I think I've done about every (wrong) thing possible except killing someone. When I would get into accidents, then I would call on God, 'Please bail me out.' Finally, I was with my mom and she showed me something someone had sent her about the "Three Days of Darkness."

"Slowly, I began to attend Mass and go to Confession and each time I went. I quit the parties and became a more sincere person. I found a chapel two blocks away from my job in L.A., so I went to Mass every day instead of lunch. I had a lot of hobbies. Every weekend, I was busy collecting exotic plants, raising exotic birds, or working on crafts, like woodwork. I tried to put a vocation out of my mind, but finally, God said to me it was time. The problem was, I was a big spender and I had a credit card debt of $8000. I said to God, 'If this is what you want, you have to help me out.' I quit my job and called my parents to tell them I was coming home. After attending a vocations retreat, I wanted to enter the seminary in six months. I was." My parents had a car kit for a Mercedes-Benz that I had bought a long time ago. My dad and I began to put it together. I got a tax return of $4000. Even though my parents were poor, my mom had saved $2000. My parents' parish, Holy Spirit, had a job for me. They had a big hall that they rented out and they needed to have it cleaned after parties. I could make $100 each night I cleaned it. So I dragged my mom and my two brothers to work with me from eleven until two or three in the morning. They suffered with me to do this. I finished the car and gave it to the church for a raffle. I said half the money should go to the Vietnamese community and the other half to the parish. I couldn't thank God enough. Everything was clear and paid off before the seminary."

Pham entered St. Francis Seminary at USD but realized it wasn't for him. "After 13 years out of school, it was very stressful. I told my spiritual director, Father Sinor, 'This is not for me.' Others, like Sister Carlotta and Father John Dickie said 'You seem so fit for a vocation,' but I asked God to take me out. I'd be up until midnight or one o'clock doing math and philosophy homework. I had no time to sleep or pray. I stayed for six months.

"One of the Vietnamese students at USD was in a summer program here at Prince of Peace Abbey. I asked him to arrange for a weekend retreat. I came for the weekend of Thanksgiving in 1994 and liked it. I asked to enter and stay for one month to discern my vocation. At that time, Father Stephanos was the vocations director. I asked him to stay another month and he said, 'OK'. Then the prior, Father Basil, asked if I was ready. I entered in March of 1995."

The possibility of the priesthood still looms ahead for Brother Michel."I am a very shy person. Every time I went to the ambo in the seminary to read, I would shake and my voice would stutter. If I do become a priest, the academics would be stressful. But if God wants it, He will give me the ability to do what He calls me to. I'm not afraid anymore."

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